And, one day, I realize that I am but a curious blend...........
Who am I and why am I here? Am I really just a jumble of chemicals working in mind-boggling unison? What is the point of this endless waking up, working and sleeping routine? Am I here to prove some evolutionary theory or is there a deeper meaning to it all? Is my place in this world just a chance event or was it predestined in some way? Am I a part of my own small universe that randomly collides with other similar universes, attracting and repelling on a whim? These are all questions that flit across the mind screen with alarming regularity these days.
I find myself attracted to things that I never thought I would be and being passionate about things and causes that I might have previously just given passing thought to. I am pulled by an invisible cord in directions unexplored. My mind is on fire with myriad thoughts cascading through. Yet, my world is calmer than it has ever been. I am able to see things with a clarity hitherto absent. Controlled madness probably sums up this growth spurt the best.
I find myself being more than just curious about my ancestors. They are suddenly not just names but forces that pull me into worlds unknown. They are missing pieces in the puzzle of my life. I quiz my parents relentlessly about Sita paati, Chandramoulee thatha or athanga paati. I collect stories and tidbits with rabid enthusiasm, stories that I want to share with my children. I feel regret that I did not glean anymore from people who have already passed. Doing rituals like "shrardham" takes on new meaning.
I realize that being rooted to the past thus is strangely comforting. It gives my branches the nourishment and strength to reach out to the sky. Everything in this universe comes from something, be it a song that arises from a musical note, a masterpiece that starts from a brush stroke, or conviction that starts from a small thought. I too, come from a mix of tangibles and intangibles from the past that shape themselves according to the world around me. This is what I will pass on to my children, who will carry the torch forward. It is intensely humbling when I think of myself thus, merely a small link in this chain.
And, one day, I realize that I am but a curious blend of my parents and my children.
Who am I and why am I here? Am I really just a jumble of chemicals working in mind-boggling unison? What is the point of this endless waking up, working and sleeping routine? Am I here to prove some evolutionary theory or is there a deeper meaning to it all? Is my place in this world just a chance event or was it predestined in some way? Am I a part of my own small universe that randomly collides with other similar universes, attracting and repelling on a whim? These are all questions that flit across the mind screen with alarming regularity these days.
I find myself attracted to things that I never thought I would be and being passionate about things and causes that I might have previously just given passing thought to. I am pulled by an invisible cord in directions unexplored. My mind is on fire with myriad thoughts cascading through. Yet, my world is calmer than it has ever been. I am able to see things with a clarity hitherto absent. Controlled madness probably sums up this growth spurt the best.
I find myself being more than just curious about my ancestors. They are suddenly not just names but forces that pull me into worlds unknown. They are missing pieces in the puzzle of my life. I quiz my parents relentlessly about Sita paati, Chandramoulee thatha or athanga paati. I collect stories and tidbits with rabid enthusiasm, stories that I want to share with my children. I feel regret that I did not glean anymore from people who have already passed. Doing rituals like "shrardham" takes on new meaning.
I realize that being rooted to the past thus is strangely comforting. It gives my branches the nourishment and strength to reach out to the sky. Everything in this universe comes from something, be it a song that arises from a musical note, a masterpiece that starts from a brush stroke, or conviction that starts from a small thought. I too, come from a mix of tangibles and intangibles from the past that shape themselves according to the world around me. This is what I will pass on to my children, who will carry the torch forward. It is intensely humbling when I think of myself thus, merely a small link in this chain.
And, one day, I realize that I am but a curious blend of my parents and my children.
