continued..

3. The absence of manly heroes a.k.a Hairy Tapori Heroes (You thought of Anil Kapoor as soon as you read this, right? No? Liar!)


Scenario: (Group of suspect college-going lads sit outside girl's college/hostel. The reason I say "suspect" is that most lads (including hero) look old enough to be at least 30. Also, at their best dressed, they look like scruffy pedophiles (think Chunky Pandey...... Nizhalgal Ravi/Chandrasekhar for the southies...just have to substitute tight pants for dirty lungies...both equally unattractive, if I may add)


HTH: (Twirling suspect college book nonchalantly on fingers.....suspect because the title reads "A Stone for Danny Fisher" by Harold Robbins. Wait, I think Harold Robbins was required reading at college in those days)
Mein pyaar shabd se nafrat karta hoon. 


4. Absence of heavily made-up ladies with hair teased and permed to hairspray heaven a.k.a Hot Heroines....incidentally, wasn't this the time when we first heard the words Ozone and Layer together?


HH: (Coming out of hostel/college with groupies, holding books sedately to chest and fake laughing) Hut Sheela (wordly-wise fraand)


HTH: (Stops in mid-sentence and stares dumbstruck at would-be jaaneman, most likely thinking....is it possible to have so much hairspray on and not combust in this heat?)


HH: (Steals a glance at the lads and picks the hairiest best of the lot to focus fake-laugh-with-covered-mouth at)


A flutter of duppattas later, she is gone, leaving HTH with mouth still open and drool collecting. He turns to his fraands and says
Mein ab pyaar mein vishwas karta hoon. Agar maine ise kisi bhi tarah nahin apnaaya to naam badal loonga. (Sounds like obsessive lust to me at best, not to mention a very abrupt change from nafrat to vishwas, don't you think? Very suspect!)


Anyway, the love-ishtory pans out in the next segment......