Untangled

"Rapunzel, O Rapunzel, do let down your hair...."

Soft and gentle, caressed by mother. Safe and snug in her arms, dreaming in black and white. Hazy, incoherent dreams. Her needs are small, hunger to be satiated and discomfort alleviated. Safe and secure in the knowledge that all she needs to do is whimper and her needs will be met.

Tentative steps on wobbly legs, curious and questioning eyes ask "How far does this string of yarn go?" or "How does this snowflake taste?" The first voices of dissent are heard but all it takes is a toothless grin or a pucker and her wish is someone's command. Toddle, wobble, smile, giggle, pucker, look, touch, smell and taste....her small world is a playground.

"Amma, why must I grow my hair?" "You may cut it after you get married child. A nice young man will come asking for you and whisk you away on a carriage, but you must make yourself worthy of him. You must learn how to cook, clean, keep yourself spiffy and learn how to sew and darn. Don't forget to keep your grades up because you must learn to be independent too" "I will not marry Amma. I wish to be free" Mother smiles and indulges "As you wish" and she bounces off to make a mud pile with legs spread and skirt pulled up. Hair falling on her face and tongue sticking out in concentration. Carefree and dreaming of dragonflies and warm sunny beaches. Dreams in technicolor, unmarred by reality.

Shy and awkward with silences abound. Afraid to meet someone's eyes and quick to blush. Her reticence is taken as acceptance. Ravaged by insecurities and ridden with guilt, she comes to expect nothing but heartache and confusion. Are you a friend or a foe or just a bystander? She retreats into her shell time and time again and yet peeks out when her heart heals. She struggles to save the light within her, the flower to be nurtured against the forces of nature and will.

Life goes on in this vein with new worlds, dimensions being added and choices being made. Bombarded by expectations or burdened with being a peacekeeper. Until one day, the withered flower in her heart blossoms once again. She realizes that she is the fulcrum and does not need any other support. She comes into her own and discovers her potential. Her hopes and dreams that have been buried come into the fore. Released thus, there is a peace and acceptance of all that is the past, the present and the future. Nothing matters except for the peace within. She cuts her hair.

"Rapunzel, O Rapunzel, do let down your hair...." "I cannot for I've cut it short. I cannot heal the world or its insecurities. I cannot be patient and kind and understanding. I cannot be politically correct and accepting of your faults. I cannot listen to you and stay protected in this castle. I want to feel the grass under my feet and make my mistakes. I need to stop grooming my hair and use that time to play and explore. I need to live. Please leave me be."

Parental Guidance

Parenting is like your very first roller coaster ride. Here you are, cruising along serenely with nary a care in the world, sunlight shining on your face and sharing a laugh or two with your partner. You have your first child. Before you know it, you are inching your way towards a reasonably high altitude. You look down and a bit of unease weighs in. You laugh it off nervously, telling yourself that it is fine, really. Millions have done it before you and lived to tell the tale. What's the worst that could happen, you ask yourself tentatively. The coaster reaches it's first height creakily and totters over the edge, maybe with a twinge of regret at subjecting you fine folks to what will unfold shortly. You peek over the edge, concerned. After this briefest of reprieves, all hell breaks loose. There is really no gentle way of putting it. Eyes are pulled out of your socket, your stomach frequently hits the roof of your skull, your face and other body parts are consistently re-arranged. You are screaming your guts out (at least what is left of them), clawing at your poor partner. You question your sanity more than a few times, you feel like you are flying one minute and come crashing down the next. You appear at the very end of the ride, eyes wide open, looking a bit crazed with maybe a facial tic or two thrown in, clinging to your partner for dear life. You climb shakily out of the car and swear never to do it again. If you are one of the lucky ones who were among the first in line when common sense was doled out and among the last when masochistic tendencies were, this ride will be fondly relegated to "Orlando trip 2012" on your Facebook timeline, peppered with many likes and happy comments. There are of course the others who come back for seconds when bad sushi has been given a free rein to their innards. Sometimes, multiple times. You won't see many pictures on their timelines. They simply don't have the time or the gumption to do so. The facial tics have also multiplied exponentially, it is not a pretty sight.

You can tell parents apart in a crowd. They don't make eye contact. If they do, they fix you with a stare that says "Don't you dare mess with me". They communicate like Mani Ratnam's characters do, via staccato mumbling. They are spent, out of breath and know all too well that long attention spans are actually well practiced tune-outs. They are shifty, constantly looking over their shoulders. Their clothes sense is at best described as odd since they wear what happens to have made the laundry that week AND managed to dodge the hot pink tights thrown casually in with the white load. Their eyes are bloodshot with many hours spent in the ER with tiny objects that have magically made it into various orifices of the human body. They are very well read, with honorary degrees in biology, finance, speech decoding and advanced computer skills with diplomas in electrician tech, plumbing and advance cleaning mech. Don't smirk, do YOU know how to take the hot pink out of white clothes? Hmmmm, I didn't think so. They are photographers, short order cooks, magicians who have a varied repertoire from making boo-boos disappear with a kiss to vanquishing under-the-bed monsters with a frying pan, party organizers and guidance counsellors. They are blessed with a tough hide that does not take it personally and smiles benignly when things such as "I hate my family", "Why did you guys have me?",  "You people are so lame. I wish I had better parents" or even "I HATE my life" are said and have a practiced nonchalance when doors are slammed on the face.

So, whether you are sitting at your child's first violin concert, desperately deleting old photos to make room for the new while nudging your exhausted partner awake (the dimmed lights have lulled them to a deep sleep and the snores are too loud) or lazily contemplating Project Earthling Procreation for the very first time, I have only one thing to say....don't climb on that roller coaster car if you are not the adventurous kind. Your innards will definitely thank you. 

A New Year State of Mind

A time to reflect, revel, ruminate, rejoice, refresh, resolve. A time when some amount of joy and peace penetrates the most jaded mindsets. When the stoniest of hearts finds a flicker of love for their brethren. A time when two things stand out clearly, family and friends. All else fades into a distance. Warmth pervades our souls like a cup of soup on a cold, cold day.

Like a candle that starts a chain at a vigil, we congregate and spread the love. We reflect. We resolve to change our views or our direction in life. Of all the promises made, the most sacred are the ones to ourselves. Yet, we seem to need collective goodwill across the globe to fan the wings of our commitments. Unwittingly, we become a small part of a greater whole.

Differences cease to matter, foes become friends. Hallucinogens take away pain and frustration and for a while, one feels young, fresh and hopeful. This is a beautiful time of the year. If only we could keep this spirit up for the rest of the year, we wistfully opine.

We gather our friends and family close to each other and vow to keep them close as the ball drops and we countdown to a new beginning. We look to this day as a fresh slate, to turn a new leaf or to flip a switch on. Everyone needs a second, a third or a fourth chance at something. A fresh new lease at life or just to be thankful for all our blessings.

We know that this feeling might get squandered soon into the year, the fiercest of resolves might splutter and die out by spring and melancholy can seep in like cold fog by the morning rush-hour. Yet we keep the spirits up and party hard. For this feeling is heady, something that we cannot get enough of.

There are many beginnings through the year. Days, months and seasons begin. Yet none causes quite the ripple effect that the new year brings. It is as if an invisible hand wipes slates clean all the way from the far east to the far west, across time zones.

So, here's to new beginnings and happy tidings. May the new dawn bring a smorgasbord of experiences. May a greater consciousness prevail.

Happy New Year