I hate getting an oil change for my car. Most people may think of it as a chore, an annoyance, an excuse to get out of the house, a means of watching stupid court shows on the waiting room TV, reading crappy magazines as a guilty pleasure or to gawk at newer models of cars displayed on the sales side of the dealership (where the TV shows, magazines and coffee are way better, I must say). I treat an oil change with the affection that I have for tooth extraction.
I understand why the oil needs to be changed.....it's just like after using oil for frying pooris or vadais, we would not reuse it. I understand that in the same way that twice-used oil will eventually clog your arteries, so will the unchanged oil clog the engine of your car. My problem is when the mechanic (let us call him Machiavelli, shall we?) gives me that ingratiating look when I go to pick up the car. I immediately steel myself to say "No", "No" and "No" to all that he says. He starts out with "Nasty weather outside, right Miss?" Curbing my initial urge, I have to say "Yes" since Mother Nature is unleashing some of her PMS right outside the dealership. Before I can recover, he quickly follows it up with " I have good news and bad", with the charming indulgence of one dealing with a kindergartner. "The check engine light that was on, has been switched off at no extra charge, but it's your timingbelttransmissionairfiltercarbeuratorthingamajiggit that needs to be replaced." "Say what?", I blurt out, suddenly wishing that I had not been day dreaming during many a Physics lesson or even when spouse was patiently explaining the internal workings of a car. Too late now, as brother Machiavelli moves in for the kill with ".... and it will just cost you your children's college fund or your antique jewelry. We will take either.....we are not picky, no siree", he finishes with a flourish.
Here is my problem....I love to drive. Whether it is a short jaunt to the grocery store or a long one cross-country, I love the feeling of freedom that I get when I am behind the wheel. However, I have absolutely no clue about what lies beneath the hood of the car.....for all I care, it could be a great big hunk of cheese. So, when Machiavelli announces that something needs to be replaced, I have horrendous visuals of my car literally falling apart down to the nuts and bolts on my ride home if I don't do as he "recommends". It certainly does not help that he adds gravely, "I am simply suggesting this in the interest of safety" and visuals of my offspring flash before me. "Yes", "Yes" and "Yes", I find myself saying to him. "Excellent" he says beaming, "Now, I'll need your signature here, initial here, thumbprint here and as soon as you sign over your life's savings, we will have your car ready"
After convening with members of my gender and sharing these experiences, I have come to realize that I am not alone. I have since formed a Facebook group named Society for Unsuspecting Chicks bilKed by dEvious Repairmen.
I understand why the oil needs to be changed.....it's just like after using oil for frying pooris or vadais, we would not reuse it. I understand that in the same way that twice-used oil will eventually clog your arteries, so will the unchanged oil clog the engine of your car. My problem is when the mechanic (let us call him Machiavelli, shall we?) gives me that ingratiating look when I go to pick up the car. I immediately steel myself to say "No", "No" and "No" to all that he says. He starts out with "Nasty weather outside, right Miss?" Curbing my initial urge, I have to say "Yes" since Mother Nature is unleashing some of her PMS right outside the dealership. Before I can recover, he quickly follows it up with " I have good news and bad", with the charming indulgence of one dealing with a kindergartner. "The check engine light that was on, has been switched off at no extra charge, but it's your timingbelttransmissionairfiltercarbeuratorthingamajiggit that needs to be replaced." "Say what?", I blurt out, suddenly wishing that I had not been day dreaming during many a Physics lesson or even when spouse was patiently explaining the internal workings of a car. Too late now, as brother Machiavelli moves in for the kill with ".... and it will just cost you your children's college fund or your antique jewelry. We will take either.....we are not picky, no siree", he finishes with a flourish.
Here is my problem....I love to drive. Whether it is a short jaunt to the grocery store or a long one cross-country, I love the feeling of freedom that I get when I am behind the wheel. However, I have absolutely no clue about what lies beneath the hood of the car.....for all I care, it could be a great big hunk of cheese. So, when Machiavelli announces that something needs to be replaced, I have horrendous visuals of my car literally falling apart down to the nuts and bolts on my ride home if I don't do as he "recommends". It certainly does not help that he adds gravely, "I am simply suggesting this in the interest of safety" and visuals of my offspring flash before me. "Yes", "Yes" and "Yes", I find myself saying to him. "Excellent" he says beaming, "Now, I'll need your signature here, initial here, thumbprint here and as soon as you sign over your life's savings, we will have your car ready"
After convening with members of my gender and sharing these experiences, I have come to realize that I am not alone. I have since formed a Facebook group named Society for Unsuspecting Chicks bilKed by dEvious Repairmen.
Enjoyed reading it...Very thoughtful facebook group name SUCKER.
ReplyDeleteI love driving too and I am clueless about the car parts..all I expect it to drive smoothly even on Apna bazaar parking lot.
My experience with Deepa Auto repair is that after giving me a long list of changes to be done (as long as my toilet tissue role), the mechanic will say it is ONLY $$$$...I have never understood how he can use the word ONLY..Does money grow on trees?
What you wrote is totally real life experience. But thoroughly enjoyed the humor behind it. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteSita
Thanks Rums and Sita. The ideal car for most of us girls would come pre-conditioned to withstand all the abuse we subject it to and have a set shelf-life of six months tops. We would just exchange olld one for new every time! What say?
ReplyDeletePriya: You have a great sense of humor. Enjoyed reading it. - Uthra
ReplyDeleteThanks Uthra!
ReplyDeleteI just relived a Friday afternoon, with you.
ReplyDeleteGood read, loved the humor of it -- we sure are SUCKERS
Road trip anyone
RC
And what a Friday it was.......
ReplyDeleteya ya suckers - dont gloat !!!
ReplyDeleteNice read priya
For us, car lovers, lesson that we may actually have to invest some time into learning the mechanics. it would be awesome to turn the conversation and instead tell the mechanic a thing or two !!
Absolutely true! I love to ride and like you said love the freedom. Anything that needs to be done under the hood, no clue!. Whenever Shankar drives my car, the minute he gets in, he goes"I think the tire pressure is low on the right rear wheel". I am like, say what?!!! When I get in, I am more concerned about, where is is my Kohls coupon that I left on the passenger seat!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, you can imagine how clueless I stand in front of the mechanic when he says, that my car needs this and that!!
--simi
i love the freedom it gives me but sometimes wonder is it worth it?a puncture or flat tyre as you may call it and the nearest auto guy, elaneer chap random pasanga come to offer advice saying anything from 100 to 500 INR to get it fixed. terrible ..the hassle of parking, but worst is when the mechanic says " idha theradhu madam"...its risky to drive this vandi .hello i have been surviving last 3 years so guess i am fine, i go through the emotion of is it worth it every single day :) bounce back to driving the next morning i tell you.....
ReplyDeleteThanks VJ, Simi and @aruna64 for reiterating that we are all in this together. I like VJ's plan......the time has come for us to change into dirty overalls and trade French manicures for dirty fingernails.........beware world!
ReplyDeleteGreat read...if you don't see such issues with humor, staying sane will be hard.
ReplyDeleteYes, another thing that might have worked in Chennai, not here though - you could have abbreviated Machiavelli to "Machi" like we would shrink Krishnaswamy to Kichi or something to that effect.
Keep it coming Priya!
Meena
Yes Meena, we must fight insanity with insanity! Mechanic Machi was too good!
ReplyDeleteEvery car owner's feeling put in here very aptly..Loved it..next time it is a Hyundai for me, with no tune ups required until 100,000 miles...per their ads...
ReplyDeleteThanks Rajashree. Lol at the " Hyundai"!!
ReplyDelete